If you can't Beat 'em ... The Pulse's "The Beat" column handicaps the race -- real or imagined -- to fill Dirk Deppey's shoes. I like how one of my finer points is that I have a subscription to Publishers Weekly. Let's hear it for subscriptions!

On the plus side, I did get a nice picture of Sherman Hemsley and Isabelle Sanford beside my "scouting report."